March 04, 2016
On the eve of my 32nd birthday, I sit here as a fraud. That is is something I feel like I deal with every day and something that most people go through on a daily basis as well.
According to Wikipedia, Imposter Syndrome is a “persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.‘”
Here are two things that I would like to call myself one day and not feel like a complete imposter. A writer and a front end developer.
Writing has always been a passion of mine. Ever since I was 12, I would scribble down notes in a notebook. In college, I would keep a pen and paper in my pocket to write down ideas. I love to write. It is one of the things that brings me joy every day.
How does one achieve the status to call himself a writer? Where is the line between success and amateur?
There is not a day that goes by that I feel like this doesn’t affect me. I feel like each day it grows more and more. I was just trying to do some research on a few topics, and there is always someone that is better than you and someone who is more successful than you. Then you open up Facebook or Twitter and see people doing these amazing things. Then you look around, and you have a Diet Coke at your desk, just wondering what the next steps are.
This is one of the harder things I have been working on overcoming lately. I have been trying to put a focus on creating new content and learning more stuff. I get impatient during the process sometimes. It takes the time to make good work. You have to produce a good amount of shit before something great happens. For example, I want to make a web app, but you have to get good at the fundamentals of writing good code and the foundations of some good programming languages. Another one is that I want to write a book, and it might take a long time. It might even take me writing one and then completely scrapping it and writing another one.
How do you get over that initial feeling of being a fraud? How do you get people to listen to you and take you seriously? I don’t think there is an answer that is a blanket statement for everyone.
That is the one thing I hate about these types of post, and I want to avoid those pitfalls. Everyone feels this way, even the people that you admire. They think they produce shit work at times. Maybe they’re even producing shit that they are currently working on.
There is one thing that I learned about this area. The real key is to keep going and to keep fighting. You think your last essay sucks? Great, hit a new tab and start working on the next one. Don’t like the song you just wrote? Time to write another one.
There is no way around this. When you are creating and trying to produce there is bound to be some garbage. Someone can’t write 15 books without a little junk in there.
Sometimes it hurts and sometimes its just hard to keep going on and pushing forward. But, we have to. We are the creators and the makers. The world needs to hear what you have to say. There is someone out there who might be changed or moved by that thing you are working on. So, just keep fighting through the bullshit and remember, even if you make a change in one person’s life, it is all worth it, right?
Written by John Siwicki who lives and works building interesting things. You should follow him on Twitter